MESSI MAYHEM

Here we go again, a guy who knows nothing about soccer is telling you about soccer. MESSI MAYHEM IN MIAMI IS UNDERWAY. This man earned his contract his first night playing. Messi is the greatest athlete to ever touch foot on American soil and it is not even close. This man has the “greatest basketball player of all time” begging on his knees to take a photo with him. I mean Lebron act like you been here before man. He was taking pics with Kim K and you had David Beckham looking over his shoulder like a proud father. All this happened ON HIS FIRST NIGHT. On top of that THE MAN SCORES THE GAME WINNING GOAL WITH A SOLD-OUT CROWD. Do you know how insane that is? Americans selling a stadium out to watch soccer? How many people there even know about the sport do you think?

I mean obviously the GOAT made the worst team in the MLS actually look like a fully functioning team and that alone makes him stand alone, but just to have him also score the game winning goal of his first game here is storybook. It really does not get any better than that. He is basically showing us how much we suck at soccer compared to the rest of the world. But do not worry fellow Americans, we definitely will catch up within the next 30 years for sure!